Then suddenly we find ourselves in a situation where we come face to face with it in our own life. And we have to look deep down in our hearts and discover if we really believe it for ourselves. It is so easy to have faith for others isn't it? But when it comes to our own lives, our own situations, when the rubber meets the road in our own world, this is when the real test comes. Do we believe that God will provide for US? Or are those promises just for others? Those with more faith, more discipline, more favor?
I have found myself face to face with this question many times in my life. And I will admit that I get frustrated when I find myself wrestling with it yet again when I have seen Him provide time after time. He has ALWAYS proven Himself faithful to me. It is not always in my timing (in fact, rarely is it on my schedule!) but He always provides in His time. And of course, His time is always the right time.
It is a faith walk. It is taking what we say we believe about God and putting it into action. Chris and I have been on several mission trips, and the financial side is always a faith walk for us. It comes down to that moment when we must make a decision. Do we really believe that He has called us to GO? And if we really believe that, then do we believe that He will make a way? Because the reality is that we have to take that first step. He calls us and then we must respond. Wouldn't it be great if He called us and then filled us in on all the details before we had to take that first step of obedience? That would be so much easier. Less stressful. Much simpler. But that wouldn't grow our faith. Because there is something that happens when we take that first step of obedience and put some action to our faith. It is in that obedience where we truly experience God. The truths we know in our head about God become something that we actually experience. And those experiences are what truly transform us.
This mission trip has been no different. For three of us to go to Nepal isn't cheap. And I would be lying if I said I haven't wrestled with it...honestly my emotions have swung all over the place. Yet God keeps whispering to me that He simply wants obedience. We are supposed to take one step at a time as He leads and then watch Him work.
We have been taking those steps...and I can testify that He has been working! In fact, He provided miraculously for our trip deposits a few weeks ago. Each trip application requires a $200 deposit so for the three of us that was $600. Now I have always heard the stories about people receiving unexpected checks in the mail right when they needed it, but I have never personally experienced it. And believe me, I have prayed for those mystery checks on numerous occasions in my life! Well, I can say that I have now experienced it! I received an envelope in the mail recently made out to "Brook Raven". I stared at it for a few seconds before I realized it must be for my side business called RavenBrook. And when I say "side" business...I mean really, really, really small side business. This is my creative outlet where I sell the occasional item on Etsy or to friends. I only make a few hundred dollars a year (and that is a good year!)...so it is very.very.small. When I opened the envelope, I found a check in the amount of $640 for a lawsuit settlement that I remembered nothing about. Apparently several years ago I received one of those postcards stating that I was a claimant in said lawsuit and if I signed it I would decline my rights to file my own lawsuit and might receive a portion of any potential claim settlement. Now I don't get those postcards very often, but when I do I always sign them and send them back. And occasionally we will get a check for $8 or $12 or some other insignificant amount as a result. But $640??!!! And for my little tiny side business that doesn't even make that much money in a year? I just had to laugh and felt God remind me His provision doesn't always come in the way we expect! I didn't even have a bank account for Raven Brook, so I found myself going to the courthouse to file a DBA so I could open a bank account and cash the check. After paying the filing fees and sending in our deposits, I have $12 sitting in my new RavenBrook account. And I just have to smile. All the details that had to fall in place for that check to arrive exactly when it did was just the confirmation my heart needed.
God IS our provider. He knows what we need and when we need it. He just asks us to obey and leave the rest to Him.
{for more information on our trip, click on the "Nepal" tab at the top of this blog or click here and if you would like to donate to our trip, click the "Donate" tab or click here}
